Move past anger with your ex-partner following a separation or divorce particularly in relation to children.
I’m Chris Myles, Collaborative Family Lawyer and a Director of Crombie Wilkinson Solicitors.
I recently read an article by Kristin Little, a licenced counsellor and certified child mental health specialist. The article related to moving past anger with your ex partner following a separation or divorce, particularly in the context of children. Having been through her own divorce and considered the impact upon herself and her family, she had come to a number of very insightful conclusions which helped her move forward:
1. “Just because my ex was not a great husband, it does not mean he is not a great father.”
2. “Even if my ex disagrees with me, it does not mean he is not thinking about the best interests of our child (we can have different views)”.
3. “Just because I was the more experienced parent it did not mean I get to make all the decisions – I have to know when to step back and allow Dad to step forward.”
4. “I have power over my own parenting and not our child’s Dad’s parenting. We do not need to seek each others validation, agreement or permissions for everything – we are divorced.”
As a Collaborative Family Lawyer and experienced Family Mediator, I found this article a great reminder of the work we do to support families through separation and divorce. The above advice applies just as much to Mums as Dads.
Recognising the difference in parenting styles allows you to move forward instead of constantly being in conflict with each other.
The benefit to you and your children can be enormous.
Clearly these sentiments and observations apply to both parents and perhaps are key points to remember when issues arise, which they inevitably will.
Find a Lawyer who is Collaboratively trained to support you. Collaborative Lawyers support you to work out what is best for your whole family and to work towards an amicable settlement and arrangements for your children, recognising and respecting your differences as parents whilst moving forward with your lives as co-parents and as individuals.